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While for many churches, October is the month of the fall festival – when they welcome families and children from the community for pumpkin carving, cake walks, and trunks full of candy—October also represents an opportunity for a completely different but essential family ministry.
October, along with being the month of fall festivals and trunk-or-treat, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month – an observance dedicated to supporting grieving parents who have experienced stillbirth, infant death, and miscarriage – the latter often suffering in silence, because they experienced loss before they shared or even knew they were pregnant.
October 15 is designated every year as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, and churches have an opportunity to minister to families that are already in their midst as well as families in their communities. Current estimates are that 10-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, so each church likely has many members who have experienced that loss and many more in their community who have never had a church minister to them in that loss.
This year Winfree church in Midlothian will be offering its second service of remembrance for their community as part of their mission outreach in October. This second annual service is the culmination of year-long outreach to area hospitals, pediatric hospice, and early intervention services, offering information about the service to families who have experienced loss.
“The loss of the precious life of a child (whether inside the womb or outside) brings with it the loss of dreams and visions and ‘the what might have been,’” said Steve Mapp, Winfree’s retired pastor of Pastoral Care and Discipleship, as he welcomed guests to last year’s service. During the 45-minute service, participants experienced time for reflection through music, through spoken word, and through silence, as those who joined took time to remember and to mourn in community. As the service concluded, they moved outside to place memory stones on which they had written a name, a date, or other special memory. While small, the service helped church and community members alike process some of their grief and see a community that cared about them and offered the love of Christ.
In a month when many family-related church activities center around fun activities for children, making space for grieving people and embracing a more somber expression of ministry to families has helped the church become a place that embraces the members of the community who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, both in this initial moment of remembrance and also in the months ahead.